The following is an essay Daniel wrote for his English class. It is powerful. It makes me cry every time I read it. It reminds us of our hope in Christ. Please take the time to read it. You will be blessed! Daniel I am so proud of you. I love you.
My life for 16 years
“Mom?”
“Mom?”
“Hey David! How are you?”
“Mom?”
“Mom?”
The only word David could say was Mom. It was his response for everything. Any question he was given he responds with “Mom!” Even when nothing was happening he would say “Mom!” over and over. The stress this caused my family must have been ten times worse for David as he tried to talk as he always had. He was such an able kid for such a long time. For example five years ago he was able to walk, talk, shower, eat and even go to the bathroom by himself. I remember when he went around our old street on his scooter!
David’s disease caused sight loss and he began to lose his vision at the age of eight. This was the beginning of an extremely long journey till the end of his life. In a few years he had lost almost all of his abilities. He was in need of help for everything. It was different and difficult but we all got use to helping him. He did not act uncomfortable with us aiding him and it eventually became part of our lives. I assisted him often but eventually it got too much for me and the last few months before David died, I was unable to help him. I could be there and sit with him, but it was very hard for me to help him with anything. He had changed so much and it was so different.
The point where we all broke down was when we heard he may have to go to a feeding tube. My parents had gone to a meeting in Rochester where David’s specialist doctor was. It was a very hard trip for them. David by now was very irritable all the time because of many things going on in his body. My parents came back that day and told us the horrible news a few days later, “the doctors said that David has 6 months or less to live.” It was as if the air was sucked from the room. I was drowning in saddens, fear and confusion. David seemed healthy, how could he only have only six months to live?! All of us had feared this day. We did not want to see him in a vegetative state so we decided not to put a feeding tube in. God decided that this was David’s time to go home, and it was not our right to mess with that. We were just going to prolong his pain and suffering here and keep him from his new life in heaven. We fed him as much as he would eat and gave him as much drink as he would drink. We kept him in comfort until his last breath.
The last few days were hard. One day I had to leave school because of my emotional state. This was also the day that David went to the hospital where he would spend the last few days of his life here on earth. I have a feeling that I was connected somehow to my brother, either through Christ or just our family connection. I went to a friend’s house to get everything going on off of my mind. Later that day my dad came and brought me to the hospital. There were family friends there; I thought they were there to say their last goodbyes. This broke my heart but for some reason no response came out of me. I saw my brother lying there. Awake but heavily sedated. He had been experiencing terrible pain he was irritable and he was moving constantly before he was brought to the hospital. He was on a lot of pain relievers, because of the amount of drugs they had to give him on a constant level they had to put in a pick line through his arm. This led to a major artery so the drug could be instantly administered. I remember watching the doctors put this into David. I held his hand the whole time. David was still as a rock.
There were other procedures that were done to David; I stayed for all of them. After the doctors were done I remember some friends of the family came and stayed in the room with us. We never really spent time with them before this so it was quite annoying, they put all there input on what they though we should do and I wanted them to leave. We didn’t feel comfortable at the time telling them to leave, but eventually they left. My dad and I did not spend the night at the hospital but my mom did. If anything were to happen we wanted someone to be there. The next day we came in the morning early because we both could not sleep. Into the next day we were bombarded with visitors and we worked out a plan with the nurse, if someone was in our room for more than five minutes then he would come in and pretend to start doing something telling the people they had to leave. It was great plan and it worked very well. Seconds took minutes and minutes took hours, time stood still. Eventually my girlfriend came. It was such a great thing to have her there. She didn’t have any way to get to the hospital but we were able to get my uncle to bring her over. I left the room for a while with her. We walked around and I tried to forget what was happening, but there was no forgetting. We talked and it was just so sad for both of us. She comforted me and helped me get out what was trapped inside my mind, brewing into terrible thoughts. She was my safety and was and always will be there for me.
His state worsened and worsened and eventually we had to call Christopher, my brother, to come from Boston. We did not want Christopher to be away when David died. For a while we felt like we had called Christopher for no reason, David was getting better! But those hopes and thoughts disappeared quickly after lots of things happened. David was on the edge. We eventually stabilized him and we went to bed. My mom had spent the night in the room last night and got no sleep, so my dad and I decided to stay in the room. At first I thought I would never sleep but I went out quick. It was by the grace of God that this happened because there was so much noise and so much stuff going on I would have never slept on a normal day. Later that night David was a having a hard time breathing and his blood oxygen level dropped very low, so my dad had me run to get my mom and brother in another part of the hospital. I had just woken up and my contacts were left in on accident so I could not see. I was scared and mad that I could not see and I could not find the right room and I was more than mad at this point, I was pissed. My brother was about to die and I was not going to be able to be with him and neither would my mom or brother because of me. Eventually I found which room they were in and ran with them to David’s room. Me waking them up freaked both of them out and it was a very stressful moment. We got to David’s room in time and he had not died yet. We stayed there by David’s side for the rest of his life. I was on his right side and held his hand the whole time. One time he almost died but he came back it was the worst moment in my life. His blood oxygen level reached forty-three, a normal healthy persons blood oxygen level is above eighty-five.
We were praying constantly for him to not be in any pain. We thanked God for our time with him here on earth and everything we could think of. He came back and his Oxygen level raised to seventy something. Later it fell again and he was un-able to bring it back up. The heart monitor was going slow and was beeping like crazy we decided to turn it off. He took his last breath. It was strange, I almost didn’t know, his breathing was already was so light. Weeping was the only sound. Sadness was the only sight. Though his body was in the room he was not, and I already missed him. David will always be apart of me and I will forever be changed.
David impacted me in so many ways. His disease has caused me to have to be the big brother for some time now. I have grown up and been exposed to more pain and trouble in my life than some people will ever have to deal with in their entire lives. That has made me grow into the person I am now, a compassionate, loving, patient (most of the time) kind of person. He has put into me a deep care for people who are affected by diseases and other issues. I have also become very good at listening, and have learned how to act around people in pain or people who are going through tough times. David has also brought me closer to many people. Instead of having a ton of not so good friends, it has helped me to have a group of about ten really good close friends. Most importantly, he has made me question my faith and search for the right answers. This whole event (my life) has reinsured that my faith in Jesus Christ is so true. That there is no other god in the universe and I thank David for that.
I would love to hear your comments
I would love to hear your comments
