Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. We opted for a quiet dinner, enjoying it with Brittney and our good friend, Nicole. My family joined us later in the day for coffee, desert, and games in the basement. Oh did I mention that I beat my brother, Wayne, playing pool? :)



While there were moments we missed David, we enjoyed memories of years past and the hope of enjoying a good meal with him again. I missed him sitting to my left. To be honest it was nice being able to focus on everyone else. I guess this is a part of developing our new normal.

What am I thankful for?

• My family and the joy of loving them and being loved by them
• The journey we have been on for the past 13 years with David
• The journey that still remains before us
• The ripples that continue to emanate from David's life and death
• The hundreds if not thousands of ways we have been loved on and served over the past several years
• The privilege of seeing the church, the body of Christ, at work as it cared for me and my family
  
• The rock solid hope of heaven and eternity
• My best friend and partner, Brenda. I am so blessed to have her as my wife
• Chris just got a job with BBN Technoligies (bbn.com)
  
• The joy of watching God shape and lead Daniel as he matures into a young man who loves God
• Knowing that God loves me and forgives me, no matter what I do
• The joy of knowing that our journey has motivated others to seek after God

I hope you took a few minutes yesterday to reflect on what you are thankful for. It goes without saying that I am grateful for those who have shared our journey through this blog. God's blessings on each of you.

Ripples

Yesterday was November 22nd, exactly one month since David's death. We continue to swing between extreme joy as we think about heaven and David's adventures there and the grief of missing him here. Thankfully the distance between these two extremes are slowly becoming less and less. There is no doubt there will always be a gap, but we are choosing to allow this gap to be a reminder that we are to live with an eternal mindset. There is a great verse in the book of Philippians that says,

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:13 & 14

The suffering David experienced, the physical challenges he faced, the dreams he had that were never attained are now in the past. We cling to the lessons learned and the model he gave us of a life well lived. No matter what obstacles got in his way he pressed forward. Heaven and the promises we rehearsed with him allowed David to press on. If David could do it, so can we. So we allow the gap between our joy and sorrow to remind us to strain toward what is ahead, to press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. I hope you are doing the same.

Over the past four weeks we have heard story after story of how David's life continues to impact people. His influence continues to ripple outward. We know of a father and daughter who have reconnected after years of being alienated, an old friend who felt like God had turned his back on her only to recently admit she had turned her back on God and is again praying, a business man who has started to boldly share his faith in Christ, and countless people who have begun to ask themselves what allowed David to make such an impact on so many. Please continue to share your stories with us. They are medicinal and bring us great joy.

Many have asked for David's article

The message Doug gave at David's memorial service was in part based on an article David wrote for a school project. Many of you have asked for a copy of it. Here it is:

My World Has Changed
I Learned That Life is Not Fair - But I Don't Have to Face It Alone Anymore

By David Pfohl

In the blink of an eye, in the drop of a minute, the way I look at the world changed.

For so long I have been very positive about my world. I looked at the good things and made the best of a not-perfect world. I was an encourager, a smiling face walking through the halls talking and chatting with everyone. Connections meant everything to me. I learned new ways to do simple things. I coped and always tried my best. I didn't pay attention to fairness. I was cheerful and happy.

Last week I started to look at fairness differently. I realized that I had lost more vision and started thinking, "This world isn't a fair world; it's an unfair, nasty world." I started asking God every day, Why?

I decided it was okay to cray to Him and my friends and not just keep it to myself. Some of my joy has been replaced with pain and sorrow.

It's really hard not to dwell on my loss when I see people on TV and other students playing sports. The only way for me to play baseball is in the backyard by myself, or sometimes with my dad.

When I hear kids talking about how cool it is to play soccer, baseball, and basketball, sometimes it makes me feel angry and jealous. Sometimes people take their sports ability for granted.

I would give almost anything to be able to play baseball. Now the only way I can feel a part of baseball is by sitting in the stand or listening to the TV.

My sight loss has cost me friends. The girls I know are really nice to me, but I wish I had more guy friends. With guys you can share your wishes for goals and tell them about who you really want to be. I really wish I had people to walk to classes with. this morning before school I thought, "Why do I always have to walk alone?"

One of the things about my life that is unfair is that people tease me. I'm not the only one who gets teased in this school. Treating people disrespectfully and teasing them is rude and wrong.

When somebody teases me, I get upset. Nobody can understand what I go through. Nobody can walk in my shoes. Nobody can cry the same way I do.

When a friend listens to my problems, it relieves some pressure. When I recently told two friends that I had lost more sight, they said, "I can't imagine how you feel." That was an honest answer.

Certain songs help me feel free. Music is appealing to my heart. A song like "Amazing Grace" is sweet because it reminds me that someday I will see again. I can't wait until I see again.

I still am the person who loves to encourage people and be happy, but now I need to share more with others. I carry a little more need inside. I don't need to do it alone anymore.

[David was a prophet, wise beyond his years. I hope all of us take to heart the closing line of his essay, "I don't need to do it alone anymore." We were created to be in community with God and with others! We are doing well. Brenda is finally getting over the flu, bronchitis, and an ear infection. I went back to work a couple weeks ago and Daniel is working at catching up at school. The house is very quiet. We are still getting used to this change. I promise to write more later. ]

I wonder what it is like??

It is hard to believe that it has already been two weeks since David went home to be with Christ. Sometimes it feels as if it were just yesterday he passed away and other times it feels as if he has been gone a long time. We often ponder what David is doing and thinking as he walks around unhindered by Battens or the weight of sin. I wonder if David was as excited as we were last night when the New York Yankees won the World Series. I wonder what he is talking about with my father or my niece, Melody. I wonder if he still has questions regarding his disease and the suffering he experienced, or did those questions evaporate when he gazed into the eyes of Christ. I wonder what exciting and meaningful work David will be engaged in until Christ comes back and heaven and earth are joined together. I wonder what he is singing or how he is worshiping God. I wonder what he is looking at with eyes that now function perfectly. I wonder what it is going to be like to sit down with David one day and discuss the journey we walked together here on earth. I wonder what he is eating and if there are bacon cheese burgers, fries, and coke in heaven. There are lots of questions which are fun to ponder but I realize we most likely will not have answers to them until we join David.

At David's funeral we handed out a little book entitled In Light of Eternity, by Randy Alcorn. It is a book about heaven. It has been a real source of encouragement for us. If you did not get a copy or were unable to attend the service please let us know and we will mail you a copy. Please don't be shy. We want you to have a copy.

We are often asked how are we REALLY doing. To be honest the answer to that question changes day by day, moment by moment. Thankfully we rest in the sure and certain hope of heaven. Thinking of David no longer suffering and being with Christ and being totally restored brings us true peace. What is difficult is dealing with the vacuum that has been left with David no longer being here with us. There is a huge hole that I don't think will ever be totally filled in. No matter where David was or what he did, he filled space. His laughter, his suffering, his child like faith, his love, his passion for life, his compassion for others who were suffering, his gentleness, his need for 24/7 care, and his smile filled his room, our home, and our hearts. But on October 22nd David left us leaving a vacuum that cries to be filled. We have been encouraged not to try and fill this hole for a while. We don't like it. But it is there and we need to embrace it as we walk this path of grief. Please continue to pray for my family as each of us deal with this grief in our own way.