Some of you will recognize the title of this blog as a Pink Floyd hit that first appeared in 1979 on their album, The Wall. While I am no longer a Pink Floyd fan, nor do I continue to support his methodology of getting numb, the title of the song captures how I am feeling. I am both comfortable and I am numb.
I had lunch with a friend who lost his wife almost three years ago to cancer. As he described his journey through grief he talked about a long period of time where he just felt numb. No highs, no lows, just numb. I know what he is talking about. I have sat down numerous times to try and write something on this blog, wanting to feel something, to share something about my journey through grief, only to have my fingers frozen to the keys, mind blank, emotions flat lined.
But I am OK with that and surprisingly I am learning to be comfortable with it. I know it is normal. I know it is a phase. And I am trusting that God is at work; healing, molding, watching over me and my family as we all wrestle with this complicated animal called grief.
I am comfortably numb.
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"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall rise up with wings as eagles." I know you're very familiar with this scripture, Warren; it's the one that came to mind when I read your blog. Thank the Lord for His Word and its encouragement. It's wonderful that during this numb, waiting stage of your grief, that you're sharing with others because at one time or another everyone has become "numb" from news or an event that we weren't expecting and found it hard to live with. I believe that the numbness sometimes helps us to walk through an experience and I've been thankful for it. Can it also be called God's grace?
ReplyDeleteHmmm...numb grace. I like it. Warren
ReplyDeleteYou guys are showing us that courage is facing your fears and moving ahead one step at a time, and I hope you are encouraged knowing that there are plenty of people like me who have been helped by your courage, faith, honesty, and sense of humor. Most people find it difficult to even talk about this stuff, and you're willing to do that and much more. You guys are amazing. So was David.
ReplyDeleteWe could relate to some of the lyrics in away.
ReplyDeleteWas the picture of David at the upper left corner from when he went to the prom?