Have you ever left your computer on for more than a couple days without restarting it? The longer you leave it up and running the more sluggish it becomes. What I really hate is when the program I am working on freezes up and won't run. Important information like my high score for Hearts or Solitaire is lost for eternity. When this happens I hit CTRL-ALT-DEL and reboot my computer. Yes I am a PC! Its known as a soft boot or a warm boot. It closes any programs that may still be open and restarts my computer. It gives the computer a fresh start. It erases some of the temporary files, fixes up the registry, and cleans out the ram.
I have discovered that grief, when accepted and worked through, is like a soft boot on my computer. It gives me a fresh start, it reorients my thoughts, it allows broken pathways from my mind and heart to be repaired, and it allows me start over again. Ignoring my grief only causes me to feel tired, overwhelmed, emotional, and unfocused. So I am learning to allow grief to work its magic. I don't fight it, in fact sometimes I intentionally hit CTRL-ALT-DEL and allow the tears to flow, the memories to percolate, and the healing to take place. Our counselor calls it a planned or intentional grieving activity. I think it's easier to simply call it a reboot.
One of the benefits of keeping my Warren 8.0 operating system rebooted on a regular basis is I am slowly finding that my memory is more often filled with good memories than bad. With each reboot memories of David's suffering and loss are replaced more and more with memories of his laughter, his passion for life, his love for food, his zeal for God, his child like faith, his respect for life, and his compassion. Of course the bad memories sometimes poke their ugly head through, like a virus on my computer. Yes, I am a PC! These memories are stored on my hard drive and most likely will have a place in my operating system until I get my final upgrade, like David already has. Until then I am going to unashamedly hit CTRL-ALT- DEL and allow grief to refresh, erase, and reorient.
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maybe PC means pastor (who is) compassionate!
ReplyDeleteOn a Mac you get to hit ctrl-ESCAPE! Nothing wrong with escaping some of the bad stuff and renewing your mind with the joys of life. God bless you, and go buy a Mac for crying out loud.
ReplyDeleteThis happens to me sometimes. Some of the older computers have this problem even more so, but there's no money to replace them right now.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I feel I need a CTRL-ALT-DELETE of my own. Also, today would be the birthday of someone the public knows very well and who knew about life being short.