Yesterday was a very hard today and it looks like we are headed into another one already. David continues to be inconsolable. He rolls back and forth, says over and over I am tired and I don't feel well, whimpers, cries, and doesn't like to be touched. We finally called the Dr. on call in Rochester and they wrote a script for Ativan, a drug used to help with anxiety disorders. We were told we could give him 1-2 tablets every 6 hours. We started with one because we didn't want to interrupt his sleep. It seemed to work for about three hours but then it started all over again. He finally fell asleep around 9:30 and thankfully slept through the night. This morning he is just as bad off as he was yesterday. We started him off with two ativan, hoping it will help him but not put him to sleep. He started being anxious and frustrated around 7:30 and it already almost 9:00 with no change. Please pray the meds or something helps. We are wondering if he is fighting a cold our bug again.
We are all feeling very beat up. As I write this I fear the day watching David struggle with no relief, I fear David's first day of school and whether he will be actually able to go, if he doesn't go what do we do, I fear not having enough reserve to care for the rest of my family, and I struggle with sensing God's presence. I prayed all day yesterday for God's peace and comfort and to be honest with you, failed to find it. I know it did not fall on deaf ears and I know God loves David and us, but I struggle knowing God could have brought David peace but didn't. I'm glad my God is big enough and loving enough for me to express my doubts and fears. I'm also having a little pity party. Since Friday at 9:00 PM we have only had 4 hours of staff coverage. Its Labor Day weekend, the weather is beautiful, and we feel stuck here. As I write this I sound like a cry baby but it is how we are feeling. Dan E. will be on today at 2:00 PM. For those of you who are praying for us please ask God for comfort; comfort for David's spirit, comfort for us as his parents who often feel helpless, and comfort for our boys.
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Sometimes pity parties are inevitable. I've had quite a few of my own in my lifetime....stockpiled decorations and all! Praying for comfort and not finding it can be so frustrating. Knowing God is big enough to fix a problem and then he doesn't...even worse. We know everything works together for His good, but these things just don't make sense this side of Heaven. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers today as you struggle to feel the presence of the Almighty. He is there, as I know you realize. However, feeling Him with you is so needed right now. I think sometimes He even brings the refreshments to our pity parties as He cries for the pain we face, too. Praying those refreshments will be noticeable to you soon and that they will bring some much needed rest and relief.
ReplyDeleteJulie Jensen
We're praying, Warren.
ReplyDelete--John and Laura Frantz