Psalm 10:1
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? Psalm 13:1,2
The silence of God is painful! We cry out in prayer, knowing He hears us, knowing he loves us, knowing his will for our lives and David's is good, acceptable, and perfect, yet it feels as if He is standing far off, hiding his face, as we wrestle with a depth of sorrow we have never experienced before. It doesn't make sense. It is raw.
Thankfully I am not the only one who has experienced God's silence. I'm not alone. I'm not being punished. Sometimes for reasons beyond my imagination God remains silent. I hold David in my arms for hours on end as he cries, begging God for just a moment of rest and peace, but no reply. I plead that God would help the doctors discover the right combination of medicine to bring a peace and contentment to David's life, but David still goes to bed yelling and crying every night. All I want is for David to not be in pain, yet my prayers seem to bounce back like an undeliverable piece of mail.
YET
"You are enthroned as the Holy One,
You are the praise of Israel.
In you our ancestors put their trust,
they trusted you and you delivered them.
They cried to you and were saved,
in you they trusted and were not disappointed."
Psalm 22
We know He can be trusted, we know we ultimately will not be disappointed, and we know David will be delivered from this horrible place. Pray for us in these moments of silence.
Today we drove to Rochester to see our neurologist who specializes in Battens Disease. We had high hopes but returned frustrated with few answers. We are still working on trying to figure out the right medications and dosages. It is so complicated. We are trying a new medication that we hope will bring him some peace. Last night it really mellowed him out. Today it worked for an hour. The remainder of the day he was inconsolable. We are going to call the doctor tomorrow and see what we should do next.
As always, thank you for your kind words and your prayers.
You are the praise of Israel.
In you our ancestors put their trust,
they trusted you and you delivered them.
They cried to you and were saved,
in you they trusted and were not disappointed."
Psalm 22
We know He can be trusted, we know we ultimately will not be disappointed, and we know David will be delivered from this horrible place. Pray for us in these moments of silence.
Today we drove to Rochester to see our neurologist who specializes in Battens Disease. We had high hopes but returned frustrated with few answers. We are still working on trying to figure out the right medications and dosages. It is so complicated. We are trying a new medication that we hope will bring him some peace. Last night it really mellowed him out. Today it worked for an hour. The remainder of the day he was inconsolable. We are going to call the doctor tomorrow and see what we should do next.
As always, thank you for your kind words and your prayers.
I must be schizophrenic! I was reading one my blog entries from August. I wrote,
ReplyDelete"We have learned so much about God's goodness and his desire to be intimately involved in every aspect of our lives as we have walked, sometimes crawled, on this journey with David."
I know he is good, I know he is intimately involved, and I know that he loves us. So far this morning has been a good one for David!